Marriage Learnings

To be a little more serious, here are a few things that I have learned over the past 8 years.


1. To enjoy washing dishes. When we first got married I hated doing dishes. Admittedly I often had a pretty bad attitude about it. Over time that changed and now I kinda enjoy it. It is a systematic thing I can do. It is relaxing. I know where everything goes. There is a clear end point. And Debra is always happy at the end. I honestly can almost unwind doing them.

2. How to be a little less selfish. I never considered myself a selfish person up until I got married. Almost overnight, once I actually had to manage life with another person, I realized there was a lot of selfishness I had never noticed. Having kids brought on another wave of "oh man, I am selfish". I still notice it a bit here and there, but I am a lot better than I used to be.

3. How to trust G-d more. This one has been tough, but having a family really points out how little control you have over other people and the world at large. I try to take care of them all, but there is a distinct limit to my ability, and it isn't big, to take care of my family. There are a lot of things I just can't do. At that point I have to trust that G-d will cover what I can't. And He really has. It's not been easy, but He has come through in some amazing ways over the years.

4. Bonus: How to move through a house like a ninja. This one comes from having kids. Little ones. Little ones who are hard to get down for bed. You rock and cajole, and sing, and hum, and everything else you can think of and it finally works. They finally are asleep. But then... on your way out the door you step on that one squeaky spot in the floor and "waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Start over. After a while you learn every creak and squeak from the kids bed to half way across the house. You know you have to take a big step to just to the left of the door then lean on the dresser to balance as you avoid that other spot and then stay on the left side of the hall until the bathroom door then the right. Aw yeah. Mad skills bro.

That's all I have learned. Nothing else.