Listening

Usually when you hear about how to listen it is from the perspective of the listener. "Be a good listener by..." and the like. Well something happened recently and I was on the talker side and was listened to very well.

I was talking to a friend about a tough topic. I was doing my best to not be accusatory and critical, but by nature of the topic it was not a light conversation. He listened to me talk for about ten to fifteen minutes only adding his own two cents two or three times and then only in a couple sentences.

He didn't busy himself with his phone or fiddling with something or any number of other things he could have distracted himself with. He looked at me the whole time and nodded and showed he was engaged.

In the end he thanked me for sharing my thoughts with him. He didn't say much in disagreement or otherwise. He didn't even say he would change anything. However, I really felt like he listened to me. It would have been very easy to defend and excuse and interject and interrupt, but he didn't. Even at points where I know he would have been right.

I shared how I felt about the situation and he never came against my feelings or dismissed them even though they were somewhat incorrectly based. He just listened.

So in the end, despite misunderstanding the situation to some extent, and it generally not being something I had any control over I felt content and listened to. I was able to express myself without making him defensive and that, really, was most of what I was wanting. He did an admirable job. I know I do not listen like that most of the time and I hope that his example will help me be better in the future.