Why is Communication So Hard?

I'm married, if you hadn't figured that out by now. That means I have a wife. We live in the same house. We do a lot of the same stuff. We raise the same kids. We like each other most of the time. All of those things go together to make talking both a necessary, and even desirable activity.

However, there are a lot of times where communication doesn't happen. The talking does, mind you, but the communication doesn't. There are also a goodly number of times where the talking doesn't happen at all. This leads to problems. Sometimes they are small, sometimes they are big. But they are never good.

Now, this issue hasn't just sprung up in the past few weeks. In fact it has been well over six months. 3229 days in fact. Ok, since we have known each other. To be fair, I have only been aware of the issue for the past seven and a half years though. So the question is why? The answer is... I'm not sure? There are a number of reasons and I've never sat down to think about it.

Yooooouuu guessed it! That's what I'm going to do for you today! I'm going to list the reasons why I avoid and/or miss communication with my wife. Maybe I'll learn something.

Reasons:

1. She said something to me and I didn't hear what she said. I'm giving myself this one because It isn't always my fault and there are enough ones that are that I'll start off on one that isn't to make myself feel a little better.
2. I don't respond to something she said because I don't like the topic or don't want to do something. Ok, this one is terrible, and it comes from being afraid of confrontation/what she thinks or being lazy. There is no good excuse for it.
3. I don't bring something up that is bothering me. Again, this mostly comes from fear of her reaction or confrontation in general.
4. She thought she said something to me, but had actually only thought about it. I'm feeling a little bad after #2 and #3 so we'll stick this one here. This has only happened a few times, but hey it counts right? I'm not telepathic.
5. I don't bring up an event or other logistical issue that is coming up because it involves money and I don't want to have to have to add it to the budget.
6. I don't bring up events because I don't want to make her spend an evening/Saturday/etc. alone. I usually do, but by then it's last minute and it's a pain. (yay me)
7. I don't engage in conversations about things that are bothering her or me because I process emotions slowly and usually don't even know what I think or how I feel. And then when/if I do I forget or it isn't in the moment anymore and I don't want to bring unpleasantness back up.

There are probably  more, and I might make a part 2 to this at some point. But that gives me something to stew over. Maybe now that I actually have it down I will be a little more able to identify my admittedly terrible reasons and avoid them sometimes.