When I was a kid and all the way through high school I was not an outgoing person. I can count the total number of friends I had before I went to college on my fingers. On top of that I was shy and would get embarrassed easily. Overall I was a quiet and moderately socially awkward kid.
Today, while not the life of the party, I am outgoing and am able to make friends easily. I have more friends today than I can count on my fingers (I haven't run out of toes yet though).
So how did I get here? Well, long story short I decided to. I realized that being shy wasn't helping me or protecting me from anything. I decided to not be shy anymore. Of course, it wasn't as simple as that, but that was the start.
A significant point in this transition was when I decided to jump onto a table and yell. That may sound odd, and I don't remember what I was yelling about. I was at a camp I volunteered at occasionally and a group of people were hanging out in the mess hall. Something came up and the thought crossed my mind that jumping on the table and yelling was a good idea in the moment. Now, as a shy person that would be the last thing in the world I would want to do. I had actively avoided attention for the most part up to that point. But in that moment I realized that there was no good reason not to jump up there and yell. So I did. I jumped up and hollered and stomped and made a big commotion. And my face turned. bright. crimson. red. People laughed and teased me for getting embarrassed, but I did it. I didn't die. Nothing bad happened.
I have thought back to that point ever since then. The time when my body and emotions fought me tooth and nail and I won and nothing bad happened. So every time I feel uneasy or embarrassed I remember that it's just a feeling. I can push through and do the thing.
As a result I have made friends, gotten jobs, and even gotten married. I have made it a habit to push things to the point where I am slightly uncomfortable (or a lot on occasion). While sometimes it does result in a slightly awkward conversation or foot-in-mouth syndrome I have gained so much more than I have lost.
I share this because, first it's funny, and second I truly believe there are not many things that we can't change and grow out of if we try.
You can do it. You can change.
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