Money is a very interesting thing. It allows for non-like things to be bought and sold and compared in value. It is frequently, if not wisely, used as a way for people to rank their success against others. It allows you to go to turn your time into a milkshake. It is versatile stuff.
Today though I want to explore how money serves as a window into my soul and how I have learned about myself by its flow through my life. I will share three lessons that I have learned (more like am learning) recently by watching my interactions with money.
1. I have been a poor steward. I'm sure you wish from time to time that you had more money. That is certainly true for me. Last year I was bemoaning my perceived deficiency when I realized something. Numerous times in the Bible there is the theme of stewardship and gain. When you manage something well it has a habit of growing on you. It got me thinking about how we had been managing money. Now we have never been loose with money, but we also haven't been particularly mindful of it either. So we took Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University with our church. Much of the information we learned I had already known, but it served to motivate me to be a lot more intentional and organized with our finances. I really think it helped pave the way to the theme of this whole blog. I am still learning, and I am striving to direct every dollar to the best use possible.
2. I have relied on money for security. When we first moved here we had a lot of extra expenses and things were tight. Therefore I was not tithing. Now I don't consider that as big an issue as some people, but it wasn't something I was happy about. However, once things settled down I still wasn't. Again, not a massive issue, but it was pointing out an attitude issue that I had. I began to realize that I was holding money in a higher place than I was my trust in G-d. I was trusting that the few hundred dollars a month I was "saving" was going to protect me. So I started tithing. Not because it was a sin/salvation/etc. issue, but because part of me needed to die so my trust and reliance on G-d could grow. So now every time I tithe the physical process of putting the money in the basket is a tangible sacrifice and helps center my attitude around who is really in control.
3. I have claimed money as my own. Today (hence the post) I went to take our van to the dealership to get it inspected so I could update the registration and to get the sliding doors fixed (the bearings have failed in both doors, boo). When the guy got back from the inspection he told me there were a few issues that needed to be addressed to pass the inspection. $1500 later the van had a shiny piece of paper saying it passed and my bank account was smarting from the whiplash (yes all the repairs were necessary and relatively reasonably priced). Needless to say I was not happy about the situation. Particularly since I couldn't get the doors fixed because the money went to the other repairs. As I was coming to terms with it all something popped into my head. As a Christian, I serve G-d. I have given Him my life and my family, and everything else. So if that is in fact true, my car and bank account are His. So really, why do I need to worry about Him fixing His broken car? He is going to provide for me. The money I "lost" because of the repairs isn't going to get in the way of that. So I can rest in the knowledge that He will provide and I don't need to get stressed about it.
I'm sure these seem like much bigger things to me than they do to you just reading them, but I hope you find them helpful.
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