While it is nice to revel in the potential benefits of community and bemoan the lack of community it is necessary to recognize that there is real cost to being part of a tightly knit community.
Like any kind of relationship, the closer you are to someone the more you open yourself up to being hurt. When you connect you and your families lives up to a close group it is a lot more likely that you will end up in much more painful and uncomfortable situations than you would with a work acquaintance for example. It isn't easy to take that step, and it can be difficult to reach a place where you are willing to take that risk.
The other primary cost is that of priority. When you choose to put make community important it means saying no to a lot of other things. Being open and available for other people means your personal wants and desires sometimes have to take a back seat. It's really like having kids, just on a larger scale.
As I've thought about this it has made me a bit less critical of the lack of community that I see. I still want it, but I realize that there is a lot more to consider than the idealistic "utopia" that community offers. It is also harder to do because as a society we value personal freedom and mobility over close ties to friends and even family.
As much as much as I want it there is a part of me that doesn't want to give up the things that I know I would have to to take part in it. I guess for the most part it is a moot point though, because at least at this point I have yet to come across such a group. And I don't know enough to start one.
Have you ever seen or been a part of a tightly knit community? What was it like? What was good/bad about it?
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