I had no idea how much I enjoyed writing little snippets on instagram or facebook via captions and statuses. I loved using a few words to share about my life, especially the impactful moments. Writing lite if you will.
Sadly, social media has been a bit of a crunch for me. A crippling level of social anxiety has ruled my actions for the last few years. It comes and goes, but basically, if I couldn't have it all together (at least pretend I did) I would hide away in my little shameful imperfection. If it involved being raw or open, I avoided it like the plague.
I'd get lonely, and Instagram and facebook helped with that. Especially if I was feeling particularly down and could share something happy/cool that I had done. Then I'd occasionally dump on some poor unsuspecting friend all the thoughts and adult-y feelings I have been holding in.
I am not saying social media didn't help the last few years, confirming there are life forms out there that don't need you to wipe their butt is a lovely feeling. That being said, it's impossible to know whether that benefit was worth it or not. I am learning to not analyze everything. It is what it is.
The fact of the matter is I misused social media, and I avoided close friendships. I am working on both of those things, and honestly, it sucks. It is hard, and I hate that. I hate that I have to wrestle with simple things and trying to decide if they are an acceptable action.
But, I digress...
I've decided to take a break from social media, but miss getting things out. So here I am visiting this little blog and enjoying written word. I am not sure it will be read written word, but simply having a time to write things out will be nice.
So, hi.
I plan to come here at least occasionally, and I guess I just felt like announcing/explaining that.
Now, I was actually going to write something of significance today but instead I will ramble and simply state "I will write cause I miss writing statuses"
How is that for my first post of 2017?
It is late. I ramble. Goodnight.
Yay! I love rambling too, and I'm exciting to hear what you have to say. I loved how open and honest you were in this post. MANY women feel the same way you do. You are not alone!!
ReplyDeleteI used to think pretty much everything I struggle with I struggle with alone, but have recently learned that is not the fact at all. And often times when I share something I struggle with, people tell me THEY thought they were the only ones.
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