Since we became parents I have considered punishment an important part of parenting. I finally realized recently exactly why clear and consistent punishment is a good idea.
Most of the things that we punish our kids for are not things that would otherwise have immediate consequences. For example, lying breaks down trust and damages relationships. Neither of those things are easy for kids, or adults for that matter, to observe in real time. The consequences are real and long lasting, but can take months or even years to really mature.
Punishment artificially shortens that learning cycle. It takes the reality of the situation (lying destroys relationships) and makes the unpleasantness happen right away. This lets the kid to draw parallels and adjust their behavior in minutes instead of years. This allows for many learning cycles to happen in a short period as well as hopefully sidestepping many of the real, and harder to fix, consequences.
Our kids can learn the stuff eventually, but it isn't ideal. We can speed the process up and let them move on to new and more advanced challenges. Punishment isn't fun, but it sure beats the alternative.
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