It's Not Racism Unless it IS

During the election there were a lot of accusations of racism, sexism, and bigotry. Even so far as Hillary Clinton calling half of the country racist, sexist, bigot deplorables. These are broad terms, and broad uses of those terms, and while there is racism, sexism, and bigotry out there I suspect the level of accusation was a bit excessive.

When my wife and I got married one of the marriage books we found mentioned that it is important during arguments (and in general) to not use blanket terms. For example: "You always leave your clothes all over the floor!" should instead be "You usually leave your clothes all over the floor!" The idea here is that using incorrect generalizations on top of being incorrect (I did put them in the hamper that one time) only serves to antagonize the other and make them feel attacked (and therefore defensive). Instead of expressing a genuine issue in a way that can be discussed and maybe resolved it breeds anger and resentment.

When we started having kids one of the parenting books we found mentioned that it is important to not put labels on the kids even when they behave in a certain way. The idea was that while they might demonstrate rude behavior, we should say they are being rude, and not you are rude. The reason for this is by pointing out unwanted behavior by identifying them as that behavior you run the risk of getting more of it because that is how they begin to see themselves.

Coming back to the main topic, there are people who express prejudiced opinions. It is not just reasonable but needed for people who dislike those opinions to speak against them.  However, by screaming BIGOTRY and BIGOT at any statement that could possibly be interpreted in a bad way the left discouraged the free flow of ideas and showed they themselves were behaving in a bigoted way.

Part of the issue I believe is one of confirmation bias. The people shouting prejudice started from a perspective that these things are pervasive. So when they saw questionable statements they saw them as explicit racism/sexism/bigotry and attacked. This usually ended up with them making enemies for themselves because the people they often were attacking were not expressing a prejudiced opinion.

Because of the confirmation bias the left created for themselves echo chambers where no one around them disagreed or at least was willing to express contrary opinions. So when the election was won by a openly racist Trump they saw it as tragic proof that they had been right all along and the country is full of racist, sexist, bigots.

Fortunately, I believe the left is very wrong about the state of the country. There are people who say prejudiced things, but that doesn't mean they are unfit for participation in public discourse. Even explicit racists should be allowed. By allowing a free flow of opinions and ideas we protect against bigotry from all sides and it helps us avoid losing sight of the reality of where our nation is philosophically and politically.

So to help us all develop an environment of openness and honesty lets go back to the marriage and parenting playbooks. Don't label people, label their actions. Don't make sweeping generalizations even if they are true. Present yourself and your opinions in a way that you can have a civil conversation with even the most die hard KKK supporter.

Everyone has struggles and problems. If they misidentify the cause in a prejudiced way the best way to fix that is to show them kindly they are wrong, not shoving them into the corner even more.