Given my general distaste for all the presidential candidates this round I have been pondering alternatives. Third party candidates came up short to my chagrin so I have to cast my net even farther.
A coworker suggested Santa Clause as a write-in candidate, and I must admit Santa has some really great curb appeal. To be thorough though I really should give him a good once over to be sure he meets my requirements.
Santa has run North Pole Inc. quite successfully for hundreds of years which bodes well. However, his revenue streams are quite murky now that I think about it. Where does he get the resources to pay for all those toys? He is very generous, his philanthropic activities are literally world renowned. But then again, he seems to give away a lot of stuff which makes him seem more on the socialistic end of the spectrum...
That plays into the question more generally of transparency. We don't even know where his base of operations is let alone what goes on there. What are the working conditions for the elves? How does he treat the reindeer? What kind of corporate culture does he encourage? These are important questions and really the very fact that we do not know is worrisome. Government transparency is important to me and I am not at all confident that he shares that value.
Mr. Clause seems to be very economically biased. I am certainly not one to quickly jump on the wealth inequality bandwagon, but he seems to really give a lot more to rich kids. They really don't need more stuff. It's his prerogative as an entrepreneur, but some people will really have a problem with that.
Another large concern is what are Santa's foreign connections? Where are his loyalties? He seems to source very heavily from China. Would he be inappropriately biased towards those connections?
Finally, ol' Saint Nick was born in Turkey, so he really isn't constitutionally eligible. That really is the last nail in the coffin of his campaign. I guess it is for the best though. He never looked presidential anyway. And he always wears red, and lives right near Russia... is he a commie?
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Put your troubles away 'til tomorrow, if your lucky someone will break into your house tonight and steal 'em.
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