Be a Student

When we are young we go to school. We learn the stuff we are presented with(more or less) accepting that we can understand more about the world around us. Once we are done with school though it is easy to lay back and decide that our days of being a student are over. "If it was important they would have told me about it."

That is a very narrow view of the world though. We live in an amazing world. It is so full of beautiful things amazing places and interesting people. Pick any topic you can imagine and you can spend lifetimes learning about it. To cut yourself off early from learning because you aren't an official student in school anymore (even if you have a PhD) is a sorry waste of a life.

Beyond that though the world is changing so quickly that even if you learned a topic really well ten years ago you probably don't have a good handle on where things are now. To quote Grandpa Simpson from the Simpsons:

"I used to be with it, but then they changed what 'it' was. Now what I'm with isn't 'it', and what's 'it' seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to you..." - Grandpa Simpson

Learning more about any topic deepens our appreciation for the world around us. Walking through a forest when you know the types of trees, birds, moss, and geology of the area deepens the enjoyment beyond just a pleasant walk.

Learning to paint at whatever age can be a valuable way to enrich your appreciation for art, express yourself, and if you are good maybe make a few bucks.

So embrace the unending wonder of the world we live in and be a student for life.

Boredom

We were driving in the car today and my four year old was doing the whole "are we there yet?" routine. It got me thinking about boredom and wasting time. I usually associate it with specific activities like watching TV or playing hours and hours of computer games. However, I don't think that is right.

There are plenty of times where I have spent nice time with Debra and/or friends watching shows, and I have a lot of good memories playing computer games with friends. Then it hit me. It really comes down to why you are doing the "useless" activity. Boredom exists as a lack of purpose. In that case movies or games or anything else really is a distraction and not much more. On the flip side, even the most "useless" activity can be valuable if there is purpose behind it.

So next time I am sitting down to watch a show I will try to think, am I doing this to gloss over a lack of purpose and just pass time, or am I gaining something, even if it is just rest by doing this? And I guess the next question would be, is this the best way to do that?

Hillary Wins South Carolina

This post is more of a question. I didn't think it was going to be so philosophical until I started thinking about it, but it does have some real ramifications. Hillary beat Bernie Sanders in South Carolina 73.5% to 26%. That's a 47.5% spread. She cleaned his clock. Her ability to turn out the minority vote seems to be very much locked in place and will have significant ramifications throughout the rest of the election cycle. Bernie's ability to win will be under significant scrutiny at this point. However, that's not the issue. The issue is that on average she was expected to win SC by 27.5% (that's from a poll composite).

So how does 27.5% turn into 47.5%? It's not surprising she won, but 20% is a pretty significant error. If it had been anywhere close it could have turned what was a comfortable lead into a loss. What happened? I am not aware of any significant event that would have changed that many people's minds in the last few days. So that just leaves the efficacy of the polls themselves. How could they be that wrong? There are a lot of factors I am sure, and I might talk about that some other time. What I want to know though is what does this mean?

What does it mean when the polls, which are the life blood of the whole primary process can be that wrong? The Republican party had five presumably A-list candidates drop out of the race before the Iowa caucuses because of poor poll performance and the subsequent lack of donors. Given the number of candidates there were to begin with even an error of 2-3% could make the difference between a contender and a drop-out. So if the polls are not accurate what are we basing our democratic process on?

I don't have any answers really. If the polls can't be trusted I don't know what would be better. Do we even need them?

How to Break a Habit

Judson Brewer discusses in this video research that he has been doing in methodologies used to help people break habits. It really epitomizes intentionality and the awareness that is necessary to be intentional.

He was learning to meditate and was told to focus on his breathing. When his mind started to wander he was instructed to focus back on his breathing. Simple right? Well, he had a lot of trouble with it. It was really hard. He realized that the reason it was so hard was that he was fighting against one of the strongest brain processes that we have. Positive reinforcement. When we get distracted there is a pleasure response from shifting attention and focusing on the distraction.

More clearly this pattern is demonstrated with food. It is a cycle of positive reinforcement. We see food that looks good, we eat the food, and we feel good. The feel good is not just because the food is good, but because our brains dump endorphins making us happy. We co-opt this process when we are stressed in order to cheer ourselves up. Get stressed, eat good food, feel happy. It's great. Except of course that it usually ends up being something we really shouldn't be doing. It's a bad habit.

So what Brewer did was instead of trying to drop it cold turkey, or push the whole thing away, he leaned into it, as it were. He thought, what if you got curious? So instead of just trying to not eat the cookie, you really examined the whole process. How does your body feel when you started wanting the cookie? Where were you? What were you thinking about? When you are eating the cookie what is happening? Being mindful of the whole process.

He worked with smokers using this method, called mindfulness training, to see how it affected their ability to quit smoking. He found that the people using this method were able to successfully quit smoking at over twice the rate of the rate attained by gold standard smoking therapy.

So what is happening here? Why does this work? The smokers who participated in the study knew that the habit was bad. Their prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that does reasoned thought, was working and telling them smoking was bad. However, when we are under stress the prefrontal cortex shuts down. It's why the worst version of ourselves shows up. We yell, we smoke, we over eat, we lose some of the protection of reason against bad behavior.

What happened when his subjects got curious about smoking was they studied what was happening. The became disenchanted on a visceral level with their behavior. That meant that what had been an intellectual understanding of their bad habit reached a deeper level. It meant that when cognitive shutdown happened because of stress they had a deeper emotional aversion that carried them through.

The reason for this change goes back to the positive reinforcement cycle from before. Our brains love being curious. It is naturally rewarding and gives the same dopamine jump that eating the cookie did. It enables us to break up the craving into what they are which is a collection of body sensations. This makes it easier to deal with. It slays the dragon of the amorphous craving monster. Over time it can enable us to step away from the poor patterns we are in as demonstrated by the smokers in his study.

So lean in, get curious, and be mindful of what you are doing and why.

A Bigger Purpose

Everyone needs a purpose. A way to be useful. A centerpiece on which to focus their will and energy. It is clear when you see someone who has purpose. They have an intensity, a focus, a drive that enables them to accomplish orders of magnitude more than someone who is drifting.

I believe this concept is true on any scale. It applies to families, to companies, to churches, and even to nations. Regardless of the level of natural, human, technical, and economic resources if the people are not unified around a central purpose they will drift and be blown before the ever changing winds of circumstance.

When a nation has a purpose it ignites the resourcefulness of its people and it inspires them to actions far above their personal expectations. It enables them to achieve what could be considered miraculous results.

We have seen this twice in the past century. WWII inspired us to work together to defeat a common enemy. We fought a two front war against two empires that threatened to reshape the world into a much darker place. We sacrificed, we fought, we became unified to win.

The second instance was the moon shot. It was not as all-encompassing as WWII, but it captured the imagination of the entire country. It inspired a whole generation of writers, artists, pilots, engineers, and astronauts. It showed what could be done when we worked together to create something.

Since the last moon landing in 1972 (Apollo 17) we have been devoid of any central national purpose. We have built a lot, we have learned a lot, we have been productive. However, we have not been unified. We have not had a vision.

Since I have been paying attention to politics I have not even heard our leaders present the concept of a tangible national vision. They have had plans and goals, initiatives and programs, but nothing that comes close to inspiring like going to the moon (yes, they have discussed going to the moon, but we've already done that now).

What is the purpose of these United States? Why do we exist? What unifying purpose can we rally around to make our nation and our world a better place? I do not have the answer. I do not know what could possibly bring together our nation given the level of partisanship and polarization that exists, but if anything can it is a goal so big it challenges our imaginations to even comprehend it.

If we want "to make America great again" we need a vision that includes us all.

Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

I get overwhelmed very easily. When I am not sleeping or feeling well, even little things can really rock my boat. Little tasks waiting my attention register as big red flashing lights, and blaring sirens, closing in on me.

Over the last few years I have gotten systems in place to help me cope. Not exactly intentional ones, in fact most of them I didn't even realize I was doing. Several of them are far from healthy.

In trying to be more intentional, I have tried to think more about what I am spending my time doing. Turns out I am watching a LOT of videos. When I am overwhelmed, I can turn on a video and am distracted. The insurmountable dishes because a dull activity my hands do as my mind is focused on a civil war drama, or master chef, or even how to make raw vegan food that is not gross. The last one is obviously important since I eat a raw vegan diet....

My strong dependence on this distraction was leading to missing out on several things. I can't enjoy the task at hand, or do it with others, if my sole goal is to avoid it (even while doing it).

This lead me to deciding to take a video fast (with a short break tonight as we were in the bathroom for 1.5 hours due to tornado warnings). I started the fast as a practical not spiritual one, which is why I don't mind sharing about it here. However, it has gone much deeper then that as I realized my dependence on this coping mechanism and how hard it has been to not use it.

Well... this post is fun for me. Onward...

Compared to a year ago, when I was feeling everything (but the love of God that is) very deeply I thought I was doing pretty well. Honestly, I don't think absorbing myself in media to prevent feeling is doing much better.

Now I want to say, I think there is nothing wrong with watching a show while doing a task, but it was very unhealthy for me and how I was doing it.

I want to be able to consciously rely on God not to rely on distractions from being overwhelmed. I want to be present for my family, emotionally and physically, instead of drowning myself in a way that I don't "need" to notice all going on and calling on my attention.

A little bit of other coping mechanisms, that are perhaps more beneficial would probably also be wise. The other day when the kitchen was making me nauseous, I listened to music and it calmed my senses down to the point of being able to enjoy the task at hand vs. feeling nauseous.

As for those red flashing lights, and sirens, I am just going to have to figure out how to hand them to God. Sufficient for the day is it's own trouble.

A Lesson I Haven't Learned Yet

Over the past few months I have begun to notice a lesson that I haven't learned yet coming up periodically. It is an odd feeling. The dawning realization that you are missing something. That you have been missing it for years, but that until now you didn't even realize there was something to missing.

Several times recently during "intense moments of fellowship" Debra and I have... how can I describe this... reached a meta level of conversation. Basically we realize we are arguing and shortcut the fight in one way or another. When it happens it is refreshing? Exciting? I'm not sure what emotion I would attach to it, but it is nice. I guess it is the realization that we are not bound to continue along a certain path. That we have the ability to interrupt "fate" or emotional momentum and end a negatively focused conversation. Or maybe co-opt it into a positive one.

I have noticed two different ways that it happens.

1. It is over something stupid and we jokingly decide to fight about it. For example, Debra left her wet towel on the bed and I was fussing at her (grrrr) and then Debra grrr's back at me and then she'll say "Oh I know, let's fight about it!". We laugh and drop the subject. Because it really doesn't matter.
2. It isn't something stupid, but one or both of us are being grumpy. So today in fact we were driving and talking about future plans and desires. Debra got upset because I wasn't listening to her very well and was hogging the conversation. I stopped and apologized realizing that I was anxious about the topic and over-talking because of it.

I don't know how well or quickly I am  learning this lesson, but at least now I realize it is a thing. It's kinda cool. It's also kinda annoying that I've been married just shy of 8 years and am just now realizing we can control our conversations, be adults and shortcut more unpleasantness.

Identity

We all have an identity. An internal description of ourselves that defines who we see ourselves as. It is a significant part of how we filter the world around us and understand it. It is how we evaluate our success or failure in life. It really is the foundation of our mental lives.

It is important that we understand what our identity is. It is important that we have established our identity in something that is reliable and safe. When you put your identity in something that is fickle and it breaks it brings your whole world crashing down around  you.

Here is an example.

She had put her identity in being a winning MMA fighter. When that was taken away she went so low as to even lose her desire to live. That is how foundational this can be. It can literally be a matter of life and death.

As a Christian I am trying to establish my identity as a son of G-d. He is unchanging and eternal. There is nothing that can force us apart. My identity as His son is eternally secure. I do not always succeed at embracing it and sometimes I allow other things to define me. But as much as I am able to stay focused on who I really am. As long as I remember how my relationship with G-d defines me I am more able to cope with life when things inevitably break down.

Expanding Your Story - History

In the name of God, Amen. We, whose names are underwritten, the loyal subjects of our dread Sovereign Lord King James, by the Grace of God, of Great Britain, France, and Ireland, King, defender of the Faith, etc.

Having undertaken, for the Glory of God, and advancements of the Christian faith and honor of our King and Country, a voyage to plant the first colony in the Northern parts of Virginia, do by these presents, solemnly and mutually, in the presence of God, and one another, covenant and combine ourselves together into a civil body politic; for our better ordering, and preservation and furtherance of the ends aforesaid; and by virtue hereof to enact, constitute, and frame, such just and equal laws, ordinances, acts, constitutions, and offices, from time to time, as shall be thought most meet and convenient for the general good of the colony; unto which we promise all due submission and obedience.

In witness whereof we have hereunto subscribed our names at Cape Cod the 11th of November, in the year of the reign of our Sovereign Lord King James, of England, France, and Ireland, the eighteenth, and of Scotland the fifty-fourth, 1620.

 The above is the Mayflower Compact which was the first governing document of the Plymouth Colony. The entire text is interesting and worth repeating here, but the bold part is what I really want to discuss.

This was their purpose. To bring glory to G-d, advance the Christian faith, and bring honor to their king and country. If you think about each of those three things they are not indulgent and self promoting goals. In fact of the 120 colonists that began the voyage only 53 survived to the famous Thanksgiving Dinner. So they were hardly surviving let alone becoming rich through the venture. Their statement of purpose speaks to the fact that they viewed their mission there to be one of being a stepping stone for those to come after.

Their sacrifice enabled later colonists to establish a foothold in the new world with much less pain than they would have had otherwise. These future arrivals would be the ones to build and expand and really bring about the establishment of even the Plymouth colony itself.

How does a group of people set out to undertake such a task when all they will personally get is hardship and for most of them premature death? What kind of motivation could possibly drive people to do that?

I believe a significant motivation for them was context.They viewed themselves to be part of the larger fabric of history. They had experienced numerous challenges in the old world. They saw colonizing the new world as an opportunity to build a place where people could live and worship free from the restrictions of the old world.

They held to a narrative that encouraged them to put their comfort and lives on the line in order that those who would come later could enjoy the freedom they dreampt of. Without that context. The ability to look back and see what had happened, and the hope that their actions would bring fruit they would have never come. They would have lived their lives in the old world with no vision for a better future. For them or anyone else.

It is impossible to take decisive actions for the benefit of faceless future generations if you do not see yourself within the larger context of history. If there is only the here and now you are completely relegated to short term and selfish motivations and actions. When we have kids or want to have them it isn't too hard to plan and work to create a better future for them. You feel some connection. Some association. But do you have a strong enough narrative to take decisive action for the future of your country? Do you see your life in a large enough context to leave behind the comforts of the familiar to adventure into the unknown and possibly die for the advancement of your faith?

We all have different purposes and callings, but we will never meet our full potential if we do not know where we have come from, and if we do not have a vision for the future.

Flip-Flopping

I have been following the US presidential election closely since it started. There have been many interesting news bites and statistics that have been picked apart to no end by pundits so I'm going to ignore those. One thing that has stood out to me has been the allegation thrown back and forth from candidate to candidate of "flip-flopping". It is an old political attack which has probably been used since the invention of the flip-flop around 1500 B.C.

The idea is that we want our leaders to be sure of themselves and to be unwavering in their commitment to their principles. I agree of course, but is that what lack of flip-flopping really shows? If I think back on my opinions, political and otherwise, over the last ten years I have changed a good number of them. And if I were put into a position of making decisions that affect millions of people the scrutiny I would put on many of my current opinions would more than likely result in some of them changing. Does that mean that I am unprincipled and lack commitment? No. Does it mean that I haven't really thought about my stances on things? Not necessarily. More than anything it means that I am willing to explore ideas different from my own. It means that I am able to evaluate my existing beliefs with enough unbiased perspective that I can change them. It means that I am not blinded by theory and ideology to the point that I can't recognize I am wrong.

So when I see a see someone attacked for changing their mind, for revising their stance, my first thought is not "oh, what a political weakling". In fact I'm more likely to look at the person who presented the criticism with suspicion.

“The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wise people so full of doubts.” -Bertrand Russell

So the next time you hear someone accuse so-and-so of being a flip flopper it could be that so-and-so is a spineless political floozy. However, it could also mean so-and-so is a reasonable person who changes their mind when presented with convincing evidence and the accuser is an ideologically blinded fool.

Intentional Living Update

Today is the 50th day of this grand experiment in systematic intentionality. To date it has really been a real success. I have gotten past the typical hump of failure that most New Year’s resolutions succumb to and I am seeing gradual positive change in numerous parts of my life. It is encouraging.

When I first started it was exciting. There was a good deal of low hanging fruit, I saw big changes. There was planning and organization which I like a good deal. It was new. It was just great. After a few weeks though it got a bit harder. The low hanging fruit was all but picked. The planning was done, and the novelty was pretty much tapped out. However, I had the daily shot of win from knowing I was still on plan.

Now, seven weeks into it it is getting easier again. Many of the systems I put into place have become habits and they happen with minimal thought or effort. I still have things I want to add, progress I want to make, but I am building confidence in the fact that I have been doing this for 50 days and it is genuinely working. I feel like I am getting a better handle on life. That I am directing it instead of it directing me.

On to the next 50 days!

Sweden's Problem

Sweden has a problem. A trash problem. But it isn't the problem you think.  They don't have enough of it. In fact they are so short on trash that they import it from neighboring Norway as well as the UK, Italy and Ireland. 800,000 tons per year worth.

Now, you ask, how and why does Sweden WANT trash for crying out loud? Well, they have been shrewd and developed a very efficient recycling program. But, you interject, a large percentage of trash can't be recycled. You would be right too. They have refined furnace technology to burn the non-recyclable parts of the trash to create heat and electricity. They burn it at such high temperatures that it destroys most contaminants so the 1% they are not able to burn or recycle is not very toxic and can be easily disposed of and in some cases used as construction material.

The energy produced provides 20% of the country's heating energy (steam heat) and enough electricity for over 250,000 homes. All that, and they get PAID to import the stuff.

Beyond the economic brilliance of this and the warm feeling my engineering heart gets at seeing something so efficient I respect the intentionality of this. They have taken what is normally (to us) the end of life for a lot of material, an economic sink if you will, and turned it into something that produces value. They have put thought to their national material flow and optimized it.

To contrast we here in the US produce about 254 million tons of trash a year. We only recycle 87 million tons of it (34.3%). The rest just gets dumped in big piles. We don't put a lot of thought or energy into making the most out of what Sweden has demonstrated is a valuable resource.

If we followed Sweden's example we would produce enough energy to provide electricity for over 15 million households.All that from something we are currently throwing away and dirtying our land with.

Aside from the fact that we should be doing that here, I want to focus back on Sweden. They have looked at their country holistically and made the decision that they want to make an intentional effort to make things work well. The trash incineration process isn't perfect. It isn't cheap. It takes time and investment. But they made the decision to spend that time and money investing into it and they are now reaping the benefits of that decision after years of slow improvement.

What areas in your life have you treated like US waste disposal (dumping it in a pile and forgetting about it)?

The Refugee Question

Like many topics the discussion of the Syrian refugee crisis discussion has gained a certain political aura as well as a good share of emotionalism. Now emotions are important, but they are not the best when used as an argument for or against something. I want to try to build a framework here to explore the topic. To try to deescalate the emotional aspect of the subject I am going to use an imaginary scenario.

Scenario:

Over the past few years Colorstan has been having a civil war between the mauve led government and the rebel purples. Many in Colorstan have gotten tired of the incessant gum ball throwing and are looking for somewhere they can live in peace.

Should we allow refugees from Colorstan and if we allow some how many?

Proponents of immigration say that our very identity as Americans mandates that we open our doors for the Colorstani refugees. That they are simply seeking to get away from the annoying and persistent gum ball barrages.

Opponents of the immigration say that if we allow the Colorstanis to come some of them will throw gum balls and annoy people here. They are also concerned that the immigrants love of purple will clash too much with the American love of blue.

There are more issues of course, but these are the ones I have heard the most and are a good example.

Framework:

First we need to understand that everything is an issue of degree.

1.       We are a country of refugees. We have accepted people from all over the world and all kinds of backgrounds. However, most people do not think we should allow anyone who wants to come come. There must be some kind of evaluation method. Enacting some kind of restrictions does not inherently go against our "Americanness".
2.       In any group of people there is some percentage who want to throw gum balls at people. No matter the screening method a percentage of gum ball throwers will get through.
3.       Anyone moving from one culture to another is going to have some adjustments to deal with. So it just depends on the degree.

So the salient questions and resulting conclusions are as follows:

1.       What percentage of Colorstanis who make it through the screening process are gum ball throwers?
2.       How many gum ball throwing incidents can happen a year before it is considered to be unacceptable?

Answering these questions, while not at all simple, will give us a number of immigrants we can accept per year without being overly annoyed by gum balls (assuming the gum ball throwers act in their first year here and we catch them when they do it).

(allowable gum ball events per year)/(percentage of gum ball throwers) = (immigrants per year)

This speaks to the immediate annoyance level that everyone will experience. In this case it is the responsibility of professionals to try to come up with rough numbers for the infiltration risk. It is the role of the public and their representatives to decide what kind of gum ball throwing frequency they are ok with.

3.       How big of a difference is there between blue and purple?
4.       What affects will that difference produce?

While it is difficult to predict the future we can observe the past and study examples of the mixing of blue and purple in various concentrations in the past. How was it done? How did it go?

Analysis:

While answering the questions is far from a purely analytical process it moves the conversation in a much more concrete and tangible direction and away from pure emotion and rhetoric.

We must make well thought out and reasoned decisions on topics like this. It is the government's responsibility to keep us safe from foreign threats. However, it is also important that we show compassion to those who are hurting around us. That is why the only right path is to have an informed discussion that allows us to weigh the risks against the benefits.

Coming back to reality I will pose a final question.

How many terrorist attacks here in the US are you willing to allow to take Syrian refugees?

Edit: After reading the question again I realize it sounds like I am against taking refugees. I'm not, but the chance of an attack is going to be greater than zero if we take some. We just have to weigh the risk.

The Perfect Path?

When I was younger I believed that there was a perfect path that G-d had laid out for me. A single ideal reality that if I made the exact right decisions would bring me into the best possible fulfillment of G-d's will and purpose for my life. I thought that there was some wiggle room, but that if I messed up too much I would lose out on the ideal and follow a sub-optimal life, that while maybe still good was not all that it could have been.

As I have lived my life and seen opportunities come and go, some taken and some not I have adopted a different view however. I have seen that on any number of occasions, even when I have made a distinct effort to determine G-d's will He has not distinctly pointed out one direction above others. Which if there was in fact a "perfect" path you would think He would try to make it clear. I even had Him tell me to "pick one" when I was trying to decide which church to go to.

As I have thought about this it has begun to make more sense to me on a theological level as well. We were put here to have relationship with G-d. A major part of that is His endowment to us of free will. So it would stand to reason that beyond our ability to choose to love Him or not He would also give us the freedom in how we serve Him. I believe He allows us to express our free will and individuality by providing many ways to fully live out our purpose. He lets us choose. And in many cases I think the choice can include "big" things like who we marry, if/when/how many kids we have, where we live, and what vocational paths we take.

This has a had a real affect on me that has further strengthened my belief that this is true. The result (or "fruit" to use the Christianeze term) has been that I am more at peace when making decisions. I make significant effort to make the best decision possible of course, but the weight of "getting it perfectly right" is now mostly lifted off me. I can make choices even where I don't know which decision is best with confidence that G-d will honor my decision.

It Takes a Village (or at least more than two people)

As we have been living our lives and raising our little kids I have begun to ask myself questions about the "traditional" family structure here in the US.


Is it ideal or healthy for a "nuclear family", let alone a single parent family, without an extended family to raise young kids? Obviously plenty of couples and single parents do it without dire consequences for them or their kids. However, speaking generally is it a good idea to do it without outside help? Is it reasonable to expect the full burden of childcare to fall on the parent or parents?

I'm beginning to think that being in an environment of close extended family is the ideal. Having regular access to free childcare. Being able to get input from older generations as far as parenting techniques and general wisdom. Having regular adult interactions beyond a cute jabbering two year old.

I think this could also be solved through non-relative community too. A lot of people aren't able or don't have family that they can be near. Especially for single parent families. Having a community, several families maybe, who take it upon themselves to provide childcare and general life assistance for each other could really make a significant quality of life difference for themselves. Having no outside help is either very expensive or potentially soul crushing.

From past experience it is amazing how much even a little help can make a young family's life better.

Capsule Wardrobe Update

It is 10:30 and I am half punting on this one. But I'm still posting!

We got hangers today. It seems like a small thing, but we got nice wooden hangers for our clothes. We have had the oddly mismatched collection of not enough plastic hangers since we've been married and it has contributed to the disorganized state of our wardrobes. We have nice hangers now that make our closet seem a lot more put together. And we have enough now so that all the things that should be hung up can be. It is also helping move the capsulizing process along because it helps build some momentum to do more with it.

Next step is to go through all my clothes and process what holes I have and what I need to get rid of... like 27 t-shirts probably. :P

Logic Rant

This isn't about intentionality so much as frustration with other peoples seeming lack of it. When I hear arguments about just about any topic invariably both sides are talking past each other. And while disagreements certainly exist in the world I think a lot of people don't disagree with each other as much as they think they do. And most of them don't know what they are actually disagreeing about.

Let me give you an example. Global warming or "climate change" is obviously a big and important topic that has a very large amount of disagreement. It is important that we get it right too, because if we do nothing and it is real we will have serious problems. If it is not real and we hobble ourselves economically trying to combat it that is obviously not good either.

I have read a lot about it and I am very frustrated by a lot of the arguments. Here are a few that have particularly annoyed me and why:

1. "99% of scientists agree that global warming is real" - This is the logical fallacy of appeal to authority. So even if it is true it is a bad argument. I find the statistic rather suspicious, and also there is historical precedent for "99% of scientists" to be very wrong about something.
2. "The polar ice coverage has dropped XX% (or any other news item) so global warming is real and we need to pass sweeping legal reform to stop it" - If I had to pick a fallacy for this it would be the false cause fallacy. However, it is more an issue of a very large pile of assumptions. Is global warming a real thing? Is it caused by man-made factors? Can we do anything about it? Can any single country make big enough changes to change anything? Was the specific issue sited caused by global warming? Is the data sited true? I have seen this many times and while they aren't necessarily wrong, they leave big enough logic holes to drive an electric semi-truck through. ;)
3. Statements along the lines of this one by Richard Dawkins: "It is absolutely safe to say that if you meet somebody who claims not to believe in evolution, that person is ignorant, stupid or insane (or wicked, but I'd rather not consider that)." - This is an ad hominem attack and is one of the most frequent arguments I see. "You are stupid to think this is wrong" or the genetic fallacy of "the oil companies funded that study, you are just in the pocket of big business".

What I don't see is a reasoned framework around which people can agree over which would allow them to see where they disagree and avoid missing each other with piles of poor arguments.

Here is my basic framework for a global warming debate:

1. What is global warming?
2. What is causing it?
3. What will happen?
1. Are the models accurate?
2. Is that a bad thing?
3. Do we care?
4. When will it happen?
1. Are the models accurate?
5. Can it be stopped?
1. If so how?
6. Can it be reversed?
1. If so how?
7. Is the cost of stopping or reversing it worth it given what will happen?
8. Is the cost of doing nothing greater than the cost of adapting?

Each of these items is related, but must be argued independently. Given the scale of the potential problem and given the amount of power and money connected to the answer to these questions I don't know how to judge the efficacy of research produced by both sides.

I am writing all this from the standpoint of uncertainty. I do not have a "side" on this issue. I want to take care of the earth and be a good steward of it. However, I do not want to needlessly squander economic flexibility unnecessarily. We need to get it right and honestly to this point I have heard so many bad arguments from both sides that I am genuinely unable to draw what I would consider an informed decision. I have heard certain pieces of the above framework argued well, but not all the way through. I don't know what to think.

I wish more people would take the time to think through the whole chain of thought for their arguments and build a logical framework so that at the very least both sides could come to an understanding of exactly where their disagreements are. Then we would know where we need to focus our discussion.

Being a Powerful Person

This is pulled from "Keep Your Love On" by Danny Silk (we are reading this... did you notice?) This is one of the first concepts described in the book and while it certainly is not unique or even the first time I've heard it it is described in a way that has seemed to click more than in the past.

Often one off the best ways to explain a thing is to describe its opposite. So I will begin by outlining what a powerless person is like. A powerless person can be identified most directly by their language. They will say things like "I can't", "I have to", "this is too hard". They try to push the responsibility for their actions onto others and "uncontrollable" circumstances because they feel powerless to take responsibility for their actions. They also will use "I'll try" to give themselves an out and give up responsibility for keeping their commitments.

The driving force behind a powerless person is anxiety. Life can be very scary when you are powerless to feel like you have no control.

That leads us to what we really want to know about of course. How to be a powerful person. You might think a powerful person is someone who commands attention. Who has control. Who evokes fear in those around them. But that is not it. It is much deeper and different than that.

A powerful person recognizes that they in fact do have control of their lives. Not of everything of course, but of enough that they can shape their life despite of circumstances. They do not let fear control them. They do not let anxiety constrict their world. They know what they want and they say "I can" and "I get to". Most fundamentally though, a powerful person is someone who can control themselves.

I unfortunately have spent a lot of time as a powerless person. I have allowed difficult circumstances to keep me down. I have wallowed in my "impossible" difficulties. But as I have started to take control of the things I can I have begun to see that I can do a lot more than I thought to affect my life. Circumstances can be overwhelming, but they will not have the last word.

Can We Make the Right Decision?

I have been following the presidential race rather closely this time around. I have read a good deal about all the candidates on both sides. While I tend to be conservative I don't ascribe to any particular party label and I try to avoid labels in general. I wouldn't even fall under "conservative" in some areas.

What I have been wondering this time around though is more fundamental than who I want to vote for. I have been pondering if it is even possible to choose the best candidate? Is it possible to correctly choose the person who will best lead our country for the next four years?

I have followed politics for most of my adult life and I am realizing that the characteristics that make a good candidate for president are not the same as the characteristics that make a good president. There is some overlap of course, but it's not the same.

Also, we don't have some very important pieces of information. What are the next four years going to bring for the US? Do we need a president who will carry us through war? Do we need a president who will guide us through a major economic crash? Do we need a president who will wisely manage the benefits of an economic boom or a dozen other major events? If you look at the narrowing field I imagine you might pick different people for different scenarios. We can't know that.

In addition, how well can we predict the future actions of any of the candidates? Who are their major influencers? Who has or will have their ears on important decisions? Can they stand up for what they believe in even if it is hard? Do they even believe what they say? Do they have the skills to bring about any of the things they say they will do?

In the end, it is I think, an impossible task. We can't know who will be best. We can rule a few out for sure, but the best? I don't think it logic can determine the answer.

Emotion is not any more help of course either. Some candidates have the ability to speak to emotions and really play on the heart strings, but that certainly doesn't inherently qualify them as the best. It really is a conundrum.

In the end I will make a choice, but only the next four years will bear out if we made the right one.

How are you going about deciding who to vote for?

What Is Your Goal

Today's thought comes from Keep Your Love On by Danny Silk.

There are two targets that we can choose from in a marriage. Distance or closeness. The purpose of distance is to try to protect yourself. To hold your spouse at whatever distance you feel is necessary to be safe. Sometimes that is close, sometimes it is far away. But regardless of the emotional distance the goal is to be protected.

Closeness is the complete opposite. Here the goal is to know and be known above all else. Safety is necessarily sacrificed in order to reach ever greater levels of intimacy. This goal directs your focus away from yourself and towards your spouse.

In the end though, neither of these goals are "safe". Neither of them are comfortable or easy. Only one though embraces love and the commitment that we made on our wedding day to love and cherish each other.

Which goal are you reaching for?

How Systems Help - A Case Study

I'm sure we have all experienced this, you make a goal, something comes up to disrupt your routine and the goal kind of slides off your mind. The disruption ends and you just never get back into trying for the goal.

Well, this happened to me. A few weeks ago I started a workout routine. I had gotten a grand total of two workouts in and I got sick with a stomach bug of some sort. About a week later I was just starting to feel better when I got a cold and was down feeling crummy for another week.

Now if I had had a goal of losing 20 lbs. at this point I would have probably given up and conveniently "forgotten" my goal. Especially given the snow and cold and dark that inevitably helps to sap ones motivation. However, I made this endeavor a system. So despite not getting workouts in I was still succeeding in my goal through being sick.

How you may ask? Well I'll tell you. Every day that I was supposed to do a workout I tried to work out. I prepared myself like I was going to do a routine, because I was going to try. And each time I decided that I wasn't feeling physically up for it so I didn't. And that felt good. I won. I didn't lose my motivation I just lost my capacity. So then when I felt like I had given my body time to recover yesterday I got back in and did a workout.

Sure I lost time, but that's ok. I knew I wasn't going to be sick forever and so I made being sick part of my system. I turned being sick into part of my winning system of getting into shape instead of it being a roadblock.

Another benefit to this is that I wasn't stressed about losing workouts while I was sick. I was still on track and could relax. I'm not sure it contributed to getting better sooner, but it certainly didn't make it worse.

Step by Step

I have mentioned this in a few previous posts, but I wanted to write a little bit more about it today. The big reason I wanted to try this adventure of intentionality was I want to improve my life. I want it to be a good life. A productive life. A life that allows me to live out my dreams and purpose.

In the past I have looked for quick fixes, panaceas, and silver bullets to make everything better. To solve my problems and let me live the care free life of plenty that I dream about. However, I have been coming to realize that that is just like the lottery mindset towards wealth creation. It can happen, but it won't. There are major life changers out there, but they are few and far between. And they usually require a lot of work anyway.

So this quest is in part an acceptance of the reality that where I want to go is only going to be reached by following a never ending path of small improvements. I will never "arrive", and it will never be easy, but it is a road worth traveling. Even with taking small steps over time, they will add up into the "big thing" that I was looking for.

Getting Kid Help

This is certainly not an original thought, but it has been one of the biggest helps for us over the past year in regards to keeping up with everything. Having kids help around the house. We are slowly developing an organized strategy for having the kids pick up and clean the house on a regular basis. Even at 6, 4, and 2 they are able to do a remarkable amount of work to keep the house from devolving into a complete disaster.

Currently the oldest two are responsible for cleaning each of their rooms, the living room, dining room, hall, and den. They can also clear the kitchen table, and straighten the bathrooms. They don't do a lot of actual cleaning, but really they are able to neaten the vast majority of the house with minimal supervision.

It has taken a while to get to this point, and not every day works well, but I am often able to do the dishes and with some occasional prodding they can be done by the time I am. I am trying to teach them responsibility as well as more practical strategies for tackling tough projects. My four year old is having trouble getting overwhelmed by her room sometimes. I am trying to help her break the task into more approachable pieces. Like putting away all the stuffed animals first and then all the blankets. I've also tried telling her to push everything into a big pile and then pick up two things and just focus on putting them away and repeating until the pile is gone. It's still a work in progress though. I've found just being in there helps her be more focused too. I guess if makes her feel less alone.

It is hard to take the time in the moment to teach them to do better. It can be frustrating and it takes a lot longer to walk them through a task than just doing it myself, but it sooo pays off.

What tasks have you taught your kids to do? Do you feel it helps things go more smoothly?

What Are Your Inputs?

When we consume information it affects us. Whether it is TV, Movies, Music, Podcasts, or even conversations with people, it changes us. As such we cannot live intentionally without being aware of the changes. Like most things, the effects of these interactions can be good or bad, optimal or suboptimal. We need to see the changes for what they are and adjust our media and environment to best produce the life that we want.

Inputs Affect Your Inputs

Many times, I have been listening to a podcast or reading a blog and had another blog or podcast mentioned or recommended to me. Often they sounded interesting and I subsequently went on to start following that new stream. Friends have been the same way. I hang out with one friend and over time I become more connected to that friends broader circle of friends. This is great when the influences of these media sources and relationships are good, but when they are negative it can be a growing influence that drags you down. When you allow a thing in your life, it tends to grow.

Inputs Affect Your Outlook

The most obvious example of this is music. It has an amazing ability to shift and amplify my mood even in the short span of a single song. This is a powerful tool for being productive for some people.

More subtlety, but even more powerfully I believe, the absorption of concepts and ideas from books and movies and the like can profoundly change our long term outlook on the world and our place in it. They can broaden our worlds and open our eyes to the glory of the universe, or make us afraid to go outside.

Inputs Affect Your Output

We hold the keys in our hands to unlock our G-d given potential. To mold the themes that in turn mold us. We are programming ourselves through our media and interactions. What you consume drives what you produce. Take a critical look at your inputs and see if you can identify the results they bring about in your attitudes and actions. Do they inspire you to step out and act or do they pacify you and enable you to sit contentedly where you are?

What is the soundtrack for your life? Is it grand and epic? Or is it shallow and gaudy?

Pre-Purchase Product Review

Debra and I have been married for almost 8 years. In that time we have had a lot of ups and downs, blender ups and downs that is. We have gone through 12ish blenders. It has been a recurring frustration. We get a blender, it lasts about six months or a year if we are lucky, and then we buy a new one in a hurry when the last one dies. Because we are in a hurry, we don't save anything so we just get the inexpensive one we can get quickly, usually at Wal-Mart.

I would estimate we have spent the better part of $400 on blenders since we have been married. Added to that the time and frustration and it hasn't been a good deal at all. Well, that is going to change. We made it a priority and we are going to get a BlendTech blender. A high quality blender with a 7 year warranty that will hopefully enable us to spend the next 8 years of our marriage without blender downs.

Now this relates to being intentional because up until now we were NOT intentional about our blender buying habits. We just did the quick "easy" thing and kept feeding our blender habit with inexpensive, but poor quality goods. We thought short term and weren't strategic. Now though we planned, we researched, we strategized. While this isn't going to revolutionize our lives, it will add another small piece to the functionality and smoothness of our lives. It is one more step.

Have to vs Get to

Today is another vs battle! This time it is between two sets of words that you use quite frequently, but most likely you are using them sub-optimally.

Of course I need to reference the inspiration of this post, which is from Michael Hyatt's blog.

The words we use have a significant impact on the people around us as well as our own outlook and attitudes. So when we use negative geared wording it brings down the overall environment. This is especially true when compared to alternatively positive wording.

When we say we "have to" go do something it carries with it connotations of begrudging responsibility or dissatisfaction. Reciprocally, if we say we "get to" do something it inherently carries with it a certain level of anticipation and positivity.

Think about what you are thinking when you say the following two statements.

"I have to go to the store."

"I get to go to the store."

The second one sets you up for a more positive experience and reflects the many blessings that you have, like a car that works to take you, money to buy the stuff you are going to get, and an overall safe environment that makes going to the store a relatively simple endeavor.

I am trying to improve my overall outlook on life. It is very easy for me to focus my attention on the negatives and the difficulties in my life. Being intentional about my words and trying to be more aware and appreciative of my blessings is an important part of both being content and at the same time improving my life.

Do you think this would be helpful for developing a better outlook? How do you see words affecting your mindset?

Boogie Monsters 2

We continue the attack of our house. Or rather it's trouble spots. 

Mark set a trend around here, and slayed his first boogie monster. 

His bravery in that fight inspired me, and I knew it was time to deal with an even BIGGER boogie monster. The one in our linen closet, our pantry.

What's that I hear? You don't store FOOD in your linen closet? Huh... interesting. 

But, I digress. Back to the monster.

Monday the (should be) simple task of grabbing sesame seeds was a bit scary. I almost decided against making hummus. But, then again... hummus. I persevered and found them and even caught almost every bottle of spice, sweetener, and vinegar that fell out of the overstuffed pantry in the process.

The trouble spot of our disorganized pantry, and it's side kicks of spice drawers and brewing cabinets, was shoved to battle front. Wednesdays are "kitchen & closet" day according to my schedule so today was the day.

A photo posted by Debra Worth (@worthcooking) on Feb 1, 2016 at 6:01am PST

First up was spices and herbs, as that was most definitely the scariest part.

I have a pretty awesome spice drawer filled with labeled half-pint mason jars. But, my back up herbs and spices I used to refill the mason jars were a MESS. They were supposed to go over the fridge, in the cabinets there, but being vertically challenged made that a royal pain. The spices kept being shoved in the pantry instead.

A photo posted by Debra Worth (@worthcooking) on Jan 29, 2016 at 10:29am PST

I brought out my spices, herbs, and even some flowers for herbal teas and medicinal infusions. Everything but the well behaved mason jars.

A photo posted by Debra Worth (@worthcooking) on Feb 3, 2016 at 11:59am PST

First, I got rid of some herbs I had not used for years, and lacked potency (note: I recommend buying in bulk, but only after you have tried something in a smaller, cheaper, trial size).

Then I combined some things, such as the three things of onion powder. Having the back up spices where I could not really see them, made for several double purchases.

I also jarred several things, as I prefer jars to the random bags and deli containers bulk spices come in.

Lastly, I decided against the over-the-fridge cabinet and dedicated a shelf in the pantry to the back up spices instead.

A photo posted by Debra Worth (@debra.c.worth) on Feb 3, 2016 at 4:12pm PST

Once the spices were dealt with I moved on to the brews. Meaning, teas, infusions, coffee, and booch. It just took a bit of reorganizing. Since the over-the-fridge cabinets are now empty I will use the half I can reach for booch second ferments, and the empty bottles I have set aside for that purpose.

Then, it was simply a matter of organizing the pantry. A few things were thrown away, but mostly, all that I had left to do was put like things together.

A photo posted by Debra Worth (@worthcooking) on Feb 3, 2016 at 3:58pm PST

From bottom to top shelf we have:
Heavy Items + Long Store Produce
Vinegars + Seed Proteins + Canned Fish + Misc.
Spices + Herbs + Dried Flowers (mostly back up for my spice drawer)
Baking Supplies (Flours, Oils, Sweeteners, Gelatin)
Paper Goods (not pictured).

Monster terminated. Enjoyment of cooking restored.

A Month In

So it has been a month(ish) since we started this experiment in life improvement. It's a good time I think to take a moment to look back and evaluate how things have gone.

We have posted every day, so that is a real win. I wasn't sure we would be able to do it, but thus far we have and I am quite pleased. It has encouraged introspection and thought and I know my life this past month has been richer and better lived than it would have been. I am not sure if I will want to continue the blog after this year, but it is certainly proving its worth so far. I expected it to be a source of motivation and accountability for the other systems I have been working on, and I haven't been disappointed. I haven't been at the top of my game every day this month, but inevitably getting to sit down and think through something to write has been a guiding force to keep me from straying too far from my initial purposes.

The house has gotten better. We have organized things to a level that we haven't for years. With the kids help we are able to get the regular straightening done in under an hour. It's really nice. There are still issues that we want to work on, but the low hanging fruit has been picked.

Relationally we have been better about spending time with people, and I have reconnected with a lot of old friends, and continue to maintain conversations with a number of them. This has really enriched my life a lot and it is probably the biggest gain I've seen so far.

I haven't gotten into a good system for exorcise, but I have a plan and once I'm done being sick I hope to get that worked through.

Really, it has been a good month. There are areas that I haven't made the progress I have wanted to, but I knew I had laid out a pretty ambitious buffet of areas for improvement so the fact that I have gotten this far is encouraging. As I get comfortable with the gains I have made I can start putting more effort into ones that have gotten a little neglected to date.

This has been so much fun. I am so glad we are doing this.

Goals vs Systems - Part 2

Last time I talked about how goals don't work and make you sad. Today I am going to tell you why systems are awesome.

Let's go back to the losing 20 lbs goal example. It's a fine thing to lose weight, so let's focus on that. Instead of choosing an arbitrary number, it would be better to speak to the underlying motivation. Let's assume you just want to be healthy and fit into a few pieces of clothing that you have from too many years ago. Now let's examine how you can get there. The obvious two things are diet and exorcise. So now, pick some simple changes in your diet (like reducing sugar intake) that you are fine with sticking to forever. They don't have to be big changes, but something meaningful. Then pick some kind of exercise routine. Maybe walking three days a week or something. Now that you have that picked out you do them. That's the system.

Now, why is this better than a goal? Especially since you might have done the exact same actions anyway?

1. Every time you do part of your system you win. There is no delayed gratification. From the first day you start the system success is within reach. You get the rush of reaching your goal every day when you go for a walk. Every time you pass up the doughnut. You are working your system and you have the confidence that the system will take you where you want to go.
2. Systems become habits and habits are easy. Once you've been doing your system for a few weeks the effort you have to put into it starts to drop off. It just becomes "what you do" and at that point you are doubly winning. You can practically go onto autopilot knowing that you are getting thinner.
3. You can change your system as you go to make it better. Say you decide after a few months that you not only want to lose weight just to be healthy, but you want to get a six pack. You can start tweaking your workout to focus on more ab work. You can get more strict on your diet to cut down on your body fat. And you can do it all without any remorse because you didn't "finish" some outdated goal that stopped fitting you six months ago.

All that being said, systems are easy, they are effective, and they are adaptable. So much better than goals.