Mom

My mom has not been doing well. She had a stroke a few years ago. She slowly improved for about two years. Over the past few months though she has pretty rapidly gotten worse. She is suffering from dementia that seems related to her stroke. It is getting to the point that it is likely she won't be able to stay home anymore. It is just more than my dad can handle.

It is a puzzling situation. Quite frustrating emotionally. In a lot of ways she is just gone. It's like she is dead. Her mental capacity is severely degraded and her difficulties communicating make it even worse. She is very much not reflecting the person that I know her as. But, she is still around. So there is this emotional conflict of dealing with losing her in most of the ways you lose someone when they die, but without the finality or closure that comes.

It is compounded by the fact that I really don't know what is going on internally for her. Does she know what is happening? What level of understanding does she have of the situation? It is really difficult to know. It is one of the most emotionally frustrating periods of my life.